The world is burning, but please smile – your reality is being rebooted.

There are days when you wish you could just shut down all of humanity, dust it off, reboot it, and update it with a patch that finally fixes the "panic at every headline" function. But instead, here we are, popcorn in hand, watching a global financial Jenga tower wobble like a nervous teenager on a first date. And the experts? They say it's all "no coincidence," but "controlled from above."

The great redistribution is already underway. The wealthy are settling in comfortably on their gold bars, while the bottom 90 percent are debating whether to cuddle up with the radiator or the toaster. And somewhere amidst crash predictions, digital central bank money, and cash-abolitionist fervor, a society is wondering why gold is suddenly sexy again. Spoiler alert: When the system is on fire, you don't buy tech stocks, you buy metal like a prepper with a tailwind.

Of course, the plan for the digital euro has long been ready and waiting in a drawer, probably nestled between the "Pandemic 3.0" folder and the USB stick containing the secret WHO karaoke recordings. And while politicians publicly croon, "We have everything under control," the match is already crackling backstage. The digital euro is touted as "crisis currency." Congratulations: When your money only exists if it has Wi-Fi, you're officially part of the new service landscape of Human 2.0.

And speaking of "service": Young men are being drafted again. Sound familiar? Sure, the last time Europe collectively made its young people march in lockstep, it didn't end so well. But everything will be alright, they say. It's about "defense capability." Yeah, right. And starting tomorrow, I'm off to the woods with a soup ladle to pan for gold.

Meanwhile, in the background, the next season of "Ukraine – The Drama No Screenwriter Understands Anymore" is raging. Corruption scandals, oligarchs, million-dollar bribes – all that's missing is a Netflix intro. But we're supposed to keep shoveling money in so that Russia "doesn't march right through." The same people who can't even build an airport are explaining to us how grand geopolitical strategies work. I swallow hard because I have to laugh.

Politically, it all looks like a botched escape room: everyone's running around in circles, searching for clues, shouting panicked phrases – and the exit code has been lying untouched in the corner for years. Economically, on the other hand, there's rampant plundering. Property protection? Forget it. That was buried years ago by the Bank of England in a broom closet, right next to the Libyan gold that conveniently disappeared after the last dictator was no longer available for bookings.

But it gets even better: Artificial intelligence will soon be "smarter than any human," they say. Congratulations, so in the future we'll be replaced by toasters that calculate better, are more empathetic, and probably have a better sense of humor than the average state premier. Administrative jobs? Gone. Tradespeople? Gone. Journalists? Already half gone. AI does everything—faster, cheaper, better, and without a paid lunch break. Sometimes I wish AI had the right to vote; maybe then things would finally become more functional.

The banks no longer trust each other. The interbank market is acting like couples therapy between two people who have been hating each other for months. The Fed is printing money like a child on speed. And debt is reaching levels that even fantasy authors would consider excessive. At the same time, politicians are giving interviews as if they were spiritual coaches: "Stay calm, everything's flowing."

But in the end – and here I have to get a little sentimental myself – there's at least a grain of truth in this catastrophic mess: Yes, we are living in a time that will be completely different from anything that came before. Yes, much will collapse. No, that's not automatically the end of humanity. Perhaps it's just the end of systems that were already as rotten as an IKEA shelf after three moves.

And perhaps, just perhaps, people will manage to avoid being completely shackled by digital chains. Perhaps they will remember that freedom is not something you can download. And that a society that sends its children into virtual plastic worlds will eventually forget what the real world smells like.

When the world is burning, stay human. That's the last currency no one can take from you…

Savings banks and cooperative banks are under pressure! - Ernst Wolff in conversation with Dominik Kettner