Here are the rules of conduct for wives and partners during the Football World Cup 2014. You can also download the whole thing as a PDF below, print it out and hang it up

House rules for the period from June 12th to July 13th, 2014

§ 1 In the period from June 12 to July 13, 2014, the man is the absolute ruler of the TV set and the associated remote control.
§ 2 During this time, the woman is busy with domestic work outside of the TV room.
§ 3 Before each game, the man is to be given a box with cool alcoholic beer next to the TV chair, with the emphasis on cool.
§ 4 During a game the woman is not allowed to stay in the TV room. Subsequent deliveries of snacks and beer are possible, however.
§ 5 During the half-time break, the woman has a 15-minute right of access to empty the ashtray and to replace empty drinks bottles with freshly chilled full bottles. If necessary, various snacks can be served. The rustling of bags is not permitted, nor is the use of verbal communication permitted.
§ 6 No later than 30 minutes before the start of a game, the man is to be given a meal prepared with love. In order not to disturb the man's mental preparation for the game, the chatter hatch must also be kept closed during this time.
§ 7 During the World Cup, any actions that could serve the purpose of reproduction are to be omitted. Likewise, the wearing of clothes that could trigger the desire for such actions in the man is also to be avoided. However, the wearing of appropriate clothing and corresponding actions can be made up after the final whistle, provided that the result was to the satisfaction of the man.
§ 8 Should the man in his generosity allow the woman to watch the game for a minute or two, questions that would betray the woman's footballing intellect (e.g. what is "offside", what is " Advantage») to refrain.
§ 9 The woman is strictly prohibited from judging the appearance of players when threatened with eviction.
§ 10 If the conditions mentioned in § 3 to § 5 (snacks and beer) as well as the meal mentioned in § 6 fail to satisfy the man, he can allow the woman to spend the football evenings away with good friends. In this case, however, after the woman has come home, the man must not be bothered with incidental matters such as the content of the evening conversation.
§ 11 If the household budget allows the woman, she can buy a small TV set for her own use, so that she can consume gibberish of the Reich and Schön brand or love dramas at least 10 meters away from the man. However, the volume must be designed so that the man is not disturbed.

Dear women, if you observe these minimum rules of conduct, your husband will thank you and try
- not to spill beer
- do not crumble every square centimeter within a radius of three meters around his coaching chair (= TV chair)
- Not constantly reminding yourself of your mother's culinary skills when consuming the meal mentioned under § 6

You can download the whole thing as a PDF file and hang it up